Plan for the Future:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ahmed : I want 2 b a pilot.
James : I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Dileep : I want 2 help Deepa .
==============================
Liar:
A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom
==============================
Delivered:
Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, "DELIVERED".
==============================
The Equation:
7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems.
So beware of glance!
Sardar enters shop & shouts, "Where's my free gift
with this oil?" Shopkeeper: "ISke Saath koi gift
nahin hai bhaisaab" Sard : "Oye ispe likha hai
CHOLESTROL FREE!!"
______________________________
ONE FINE DAY A GIRL PROPOSED TO A SARDAR AND
SARDAR DENIED SIMPLY SAYING THAT IN OUR FAMILY, WE
MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES..
MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD, MY BROTHER MARRIED MY
BHABHI, MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON. SO
PLEASE EXCUSE ME !!!!!
______________________________
Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two beers
took some sandwiches out of their pockets and
started to eat them. "You can't eat your own
sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner. So
the two sardars swapped (exchanged) their
sandwiches..
______________________________
A sardar was very fond of sensational and detective
novels, but he always started reading from the
middle. A friend of his asked why he did so?"
It'z doubly interesting", said the Sardar. "TO start
from the middle keeps one curious not only about its
conclusion but also about its beginning.
______________________________
Once a Sardarji was going to his office. On the
way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.
Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a
banana peel and Later after two days, he noticed
two banana peels and exclaimed" ari sala, aaj to
choice hai"!!!!!!
______________________________
A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the
pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were
in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly
soul must answer two questions: 1. Name two days
of the week that begin with "T". 2. How many
seconds are there in a year? The Sardar thought
for a few minutes and answered... 1. The two days
of the week that begin with "T" are Today and
Tomorrow. 2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and
Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I
expected, so your answ er is correct. But how did you
get only 12 seconds in a year?" The Sardar
replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March
2nd, etc...." Saint Peter lets him in without
another word
______________________________
A Sardar, his wife with son and daugher went to a
party he introduced his family to his friends
saying..." I am Sardar.. and this is Sardarnee
...this is my kid and that is my kidney...!!"
______________________________
American says "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."
Sardarji " India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti
hai...!!!"
______________________________
Q. What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
A. Moti-vating..!!!
______________________________
Nurse - "Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban
gaye.." Sardarji - " Meri wife ko nahi bolna..
main use surprise doonga..!"
______________________________
Dr Chopra psychotherapist wanted 'Sign board' to be
pained in front of his clinic but our Sardar painter
painted "Dr Chorpa Psycho The Rapist"
______________________________
What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE
......... Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati
hai...... Doosari bigadati hai to "SHUROO' ho jati
hai
______________________________
Ek sardar apne bete se bola : Bev akuf, kaisa machis
leke aaya hai, ek bhi tili nahin jalti.
Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test
karke laya hu.
______________________________
Man runs home yelling "Pack your bags honey. I just
won the 10 Million lotto. Wife : Do I pack for the
beach or mountains ? Man : Who cares ? Just pack
and get lost !
______________________________
Doctor to Sardaar : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood
group ek hi hai? Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25
saalse mera khoon jo pee rahi hai....
______________________________
Koun si devi ka kounsa prasad India mein famous hai
Rabridevi ka laloo prasad
______________________________
A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab
today.......
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are
still.....digging for more.
______________________________
Sardar found answer to most difficult question
ever What comes first - the chicken or
the egg ?
Oye yaar, jiska order pahele dooge, wo ayega !!!
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