Gandhism: You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk. Indiraism: You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows. Lalooism: You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattlefeed for them. You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth. Rajivism: You have two cows. You paint them both to get colourful milk. Softwarism:(Ultimate....): Client has 2 cows and u need to milk them 2 . Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan) 3 . Then prepare how to milk them (Design) 4 . Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them (Framework) 5 . Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client the way in which u will milk them (UI Mockups & POC) 6 . If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2 7 . You actually start milking them and find that there are few problem with accessories. (Change framework) 8 . Redo step 4 9 . At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over) 10. Make sure that cow milks properly ( Testing) 11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there. 12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls 13. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing) 14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test) 15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk 16. Now the client says that the quality is good but its milking at slow rate (performance issue) 17. Again you slog and send it with good performance. 18. Client is happy??? By this time both the COWs aged and cant milk. (The software got old and get ready for next release repeat from step 1) !!!!!
Rajnikantism:
1 . First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off)
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Softwarism!! ( IT Humor )
Sunday, February 15, 2009
My Training Programs & Consulatation Services
R.K. ASSOCIATES
TO WHOM EVER SO IT MAY CONCERN
To,
Dear Sir/Madam,
We are introducing to ourselves, we are major dealing with following Services
TRAINING PROGRAMS:
Fundamentals of computers, Ms-dos
Windows, Ms office
Training on internet
Java
web designing & graphics designing
SERVICES:
Computer sales & service
Hardware & networking
D.T.P
Word processing, power point presentations designing
Data entry & data processing
Software’s, utilities, tools installation & sales
Technical writing [documentation, articles, content supply, scribing]
Email marketing, ad campaign, search engine submission
Data / information collection & sharing as per your request
E-books, tutorials supply
Web designing
Graphics designing
Applications designing & filling
Bulk - printouts, scanning & SMS
Projects typing
CONSULTATION SERVICES:
• Investment advices
• Email / SMS sending & Tele-calling
• Free Classifieds publishing
• Home tuitions
• Real estate consultation
• Life / general / motor / health insurance
• Shares trading
• Placement services [referral / direct]
• Book marking
• M.O.B.
• Training on money earning programs in online
Thanking you,
Yours Sincerely,
RAJESH.K
CELL: 9948778585
For R.K. ASSOCIATES.
NOTE:
I. To know more visit www.rajeshkolluri.tk / send a mail to kolluri.rajesh@gmail.com
II. Quotation will be given for multiple services on your request.
III. Feel free to contact me for any kind of request / query.
IV. Pay less expect more gain more / all services will be done at nominal cost
V. Complete solution for all your computer related needs & works
DOOR NO: 3-8/2, BAGH AMEERI, KUKATPALLY, HYDERABAD – 72, CELL: +91-9948778585
Friday, February 13, 2009
TRAINING ON INTERNET CONCEPTS
TRAINING ON INTERNET CONCEPTS
I. FUNDAMENTALS OF COMPUTERS
Ø HISTORY OF COMPUTERS
Ø EVALUATION OF COMPUTERS
Ø TYPES OF COMPUTERS
Ø PARTS OF COMPUTER
Ø GENERATIONS OF COMPUTER
II. MS-DOS
Ø INTERNAL COMMANDS
Ø EXTERNAL COMMANDS
III. WINDOWS 98/2000/NT/XP/VISTA
Ø WHAT IS OS
Ø TYPES OF OS [WINDOWS, UNIX, LINUX]
Ø USES OF OS
Ø WHAT IS BOOTING FAT32/NTFS
Ø BASIC OPERATIONS OF ADMINISTRATOR
Ø WHAT IS VIRUS
Ø TYPES OF VIRUS
Ø REMOVAL TOOLS
INTRODUCTION TO WINDOWS
Ø DESKTOP
Ø FOLDER CREATION, FOLDER OPTIONS
Ø FILE CREATION, CD WRITING, RUN
Ø DRIVES SOFTWARE’S INSTALLATION/ UNINSTALL
Ø PLAYERS, TOOLS, TASK MANAGER, USB
Ø SYSTEM SETTINGS/PROPERTIES (WALLPAPER, SCREEN SAVERS, APPEARANCE)
Ø CONTROL PANEL, SEARCH FOR FILES, EXPLORE
Ø MY NETWORK PLACES, MY DOCUMENTS, RECYCLE BIN, MY COMPUTER
Ø TROUBLE SHOOTING, LAN, PRINTER
IV. MS-OFFICE
Ø WHAT IS HOME / BUSINESS APPLICATIONS
Ø TYPES OF SCRIBING & PRESENTATION TOOLS
Ø DIFFERENT ALTERNATIVES [OPEN OFFICE]
Ø INTRODUCTION ABOUT ADOBE TOOLS
Ø WHY MS-OFFICE & WHATS NEW
INTRODUCTION TO MS-OFFICE
Ø MS-WORD
Ø MS-EXCEL
Ø MS-POWERPOINT
Ø MS-ACCESS
Ø MS-OUTLOOK
V. INTERNET
INTRODUCTION TO INTERNET CONCEPTS
MODULE-1 [FUNDAMENTALS, BASICS & INTRODUCTION]
Ø BASICS, HISTORY
Ø WHAT IS INTERNET
Ø TYPES OF INTERNET
Ø HOW INTERNET WILL WORK
Ø USES OF INTERNET
Ø WEB PAGES, WEBSITES, BROWSER
MODULE-2 [BROWSERS, WEBSITES]
Ø INTRODUCTION WITH BROWSER
Ø BROWSING WEBSITES
Ø WEBPAGES, PURPOSE OF WEBSITES, CONSTRUCTION OF WEBSITES.
Ø TYPES OF BROWSERS [FLOCK, MOZILLA, IE, SAFARI, OPERA, NETSCAPE, AVANT] ADDONS
MODULE-3 [EMAIL, CHAT, SOCIAL BOOK MARKING, TWEETING]
Ø EMAIL [PLAIN/HTML/IMAGE/VIDEO/ATTACHMENT/SIGNATURE/AUTOMATIC/WAITING] INCREDIMAIL
Ø CHAT [TEXT/VOICE/VIDEO/WEB CHAT/ONLINE]
Ø SOCIAL BOOK MARKING [ORKUT, HI5, FACE BOOK, YAHOO GROUPS, GOOGLE GROUPS]
Ø TWEETING [TWITTER]
Ø ONLINE FORUMS
MODULE-4
Ø SEARCH ENGINES [GOOGLE, MSN, ALTAVISTA, CUIL, AOL] TIPS & TRCKS
Ø DOWNLOADING [FLASH GET, IDM, DAP, USENEXT]
Ø BLOGGING, SEO, META TAGGING,
Ø PERSONAL/ PUBLIC WEBSITES/WEBPAGES [DOT.TK, GEOCITIES.COM, GOOGLEPAGES.COM]
Ø E-LEARNING VIDEOS, TUTORIALS, ONLINE SUPPORT, TEACHING, LEARNING
Ø BOOK MARKING [DIG, TECHNOCARATI, STUBLEUPON] KEY: CTRL+D
Ø FEEDS [RSS, ATOM] [FEED BURNER, FEEDZILLA]
Ø E-BOOKS [SCRIBD, GOOTENBURG, PDFGENI, PDFJUNCTION]
MODULE-5 [MONEY EARNING PROGRAMS]
CJ, AJ, AD SENSE, PAY PER POST, EMAIL PAYS U, ONLINE/ OFFLINE DATA ENTRY, PAY PER CLICK, PAY PER SMS, ONLINE SURVEYS, FORM FILLING, AD POSTING, EMAIL MARKETING, FILE SHARING, PRODUCT SELLING, ONLINE ADVERTISING, CHAIN SCHEMES, REFERALS, MOB
ONLINE CHEATING [SPAM, FISHING, CHEATING, ILLIGAL OPERATIONS, COOKIES, FAKE ADS, MISLEADING]
MODULE-6 [ONLINE MONEY TRANSFER]
ONLINE SHOPPING, ECOMMERCE, ONLINE PAYMENT (E-MONEY, PAYPAL, MONEY TRANSFER) EBAY, AMAZON, ALIBABA, EMAIL MARKETING, GORILLA MARKETING, EMAIL [EXTRACTOR, GRABBER, SENDER, BLASTER]
MODULE-7 [FILE SHARING]
Ø F2P [FILEZ, 4SHARED, ESNIPS]
Ø P2P [LIMEWIRE, KARZA, BEARSHARE, EMULE, ARES]
Ø TORRENT [UTORRENT, BITTORRENT, BITCOMMET, AZARAS]
Ø GADGETS, WIDGETS, ONLINE TV, EPAPER
Ø WHAT’S NEW?
Ø FILE/ SOFTWARE HACKS
VI. COMPLIMENTARY CONCEPTS
A. IMPORTANT SOFTWARE’S FOR A SYSTEM
BROWSERS, MESSENGERS, PRIVACY ERASER, PICASA, ADOBE READER/FOX IT, WINZIP/ RAR, AUDIO/VIDEO/MEDIA PLAYERS, VLC, CD/DVD WRITING SOFTWARE’S, ANTI-VIRUS SOFTWARE’S, URL GRABBER, LINK FINDER, TOOLBARS, SITE EXPLORER, SPEED OPTIMIZER, DEEPFREEZER.
B.HOW TO DOWNLOAD
Ø MUSIC/SONGS [TELUGU MANTRA, RAGA, ANDHRA VILAS]
Ø SOFTWARE’S
Ø PORTABLE APPLICATIONS [
Ø CONVERTERS [AUDIO, VIDEO, MEDIA, DOCUMENTS, IMAGES, FLASH]
Ø FULL VERSION DOWNLOADS
Ø HACKS OF DIFFERENT APPLICATIONS TO WORK PROPERLY.
C. REMOTE DESKTOP [WEBEX, LOG ME, NORTEL]
D. TIPS & TRICKS
Ø MS-WORD TRICK [TEXT GENERATION, VERTICAL SELECTION]
Ø NOTEPAD TRICKS [DAIRY, UNRECOGNIZED FONT, CONVERSION]
Ø FOLDER TRICKS [HIDDEN, NAME CHANGE, ICON CHANGE]
Ø WINDOWS TRICKS [HIBERNATING, FAST SHUTDOWN]
Ø SYSTEM TRICKS [BACKUP, DEFRAGMENTATION, DISK CLENUP, RESTORE, DUMP]
Ø KEYBOARD SHORTCUTS, RUN COMMANDS
E. IMPORTANT WEBSITES
WEBSITES LIST ON EVERY TOPIC
VOZME, SEETOO, YOUTUBE, PIPEBYTES, WEBINMAIL, MOMB, RAPIDSHARE, MEGAUPLOAD, METACAFE, FILEURLS, ADRIVE, ZIDDU, CHATMAKER, YOUSENDIT, LIVEDRIVE, PRAPHICS FACTORY, IMAGE CHEF
IMPORTANT FILE SHARING/ ONLINE STORAGE SITES.
F. WHAT’S NEW IN INTERNET?
G. TROUBLE SHOOTING & F.A.Q‘S
FOR DETAILS CONTACT:
RAJESH K, CELL: 9948778585, WWW.RAJESHKOLLURI.TK, KOLLURI.RAJESH@GMAIL.COM
NOTE: COURSE MATERIAL & SOFTWARE’S WILL BE PROVIDED WHO EVER COMPLETED THIS COURSE
THANK YOU
